Movie Monday: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Giant mutant turtles that know ninjitsu, saving the day, stopping the bad guys, oh, did I mentioned that they are teenagers? By the way, this review contains spoilers, I really suggest you to see the movie first, but if you don’t mind, be my guest and keep reading.

I won’t lie, the first time I saw the trailer for this movie, I was disappointed, especially because Michael Bay was going to be involved in it. I didn’t like the turtles (I still don’t like them, but that doesn’t mean they don’t look pretty badass). I thought that they were going to mutilate everything that we used to love on TMTN when we were kids.

But still the movie managed to be enjoyable, and even more surprisingly, it didn’t have an insane amount of confusing fights and explosions, in fact, I can’t remember any point in the movie where i couldn’t understand what was happening.

The movie wasn’t that brilliant, actually, they kinda used the plot from “The amazing Spiderman”. You know, the villain wants to spread a toxin from the top of a tower that will decimate the population, and the good guy(s) must stop him.

Anyways, let’s keep moving. The main character is April O’Neil (Megan Fox) she is a reporter looking for a good story, along with his cameraman Vernon Fenwick (Will Arnett). During the first minutes of the movie, they just looked for an excuse to show Megan Fox bouncing (seriously, she jumps on a small trampoline) totally unnecessary to the plot, but still men will thank for it.

The start of the movie was really, really slow, and you don’t actually see the turtles until around 30 minutes of the film. And when you see them, you, oh god… You notice they tried to make them more “realistic”, but more realistic not always is good (and don’t make me talk about Splinter, I just… couldn’t sleep that night. His disgusting and old skin, chasing me on my worst nightmares)

Even his figure looks horrible!

Even his figure looks horrible!

Sorry, I got lost on creepy flashbacks. The turtles are bigger and heavier this time, but still they are pretty fast and agile. Also they seem to have an incredible amount of strength, easily lifting people and throwing them away several feet. Most fans of the ninja turtles won’t like this, but is not that bad to be honest.

I didn’t feel like any of the turtles were leftover (Of course, Leo and Ralph were the 2 main turtles, but that doesn’t mean that Don and Mike were useless) and I liked that a lot. In my opinion Ralph was the most badass, rescuing his brothers and getting his turtle ass kicked by Shredder.

Their origin this time wasn’t so different from previous versions. They are 4 normal turtles and a rat on la lab, they were injected with a mutagen that at first only gave them consciousness, but later made them look more humanoid. Nothing so original but still, it has the same soul of some versions.

The action scenes were just good, especially at the end of the movie, where there were plenty of them. And I thank the slow motion effects, I know they can be very cheesy and annoying sometimes, but they let you see with detail what is going on sometimes, which is hard in this kind of movies with stuff flying everywhere sometimes.

By the way, did you see that mountain scene in the trailer? I could swear that they were on Mount Everest; it took them forever to reach the base of that mountain.

Now, let’s get to the good stuff, the guys that make you decide if a movie is good or bad: The villains. Well, the 3 main antagonists of this story are Eric Sacks (William Fichtner), Karai (Minae Noji) and finally, the guy who i wanted to see the most: Shredder (Tohoru Masamune).

First I want to talk about the foot clan. This was the part I hated the most, due I like them more when they used to be NINJAS, they were pretty awesome. This time however, they are more military like, using guns instead of ninja weapons, and they act more like terrorists than anything else.

Next on the list is Eric Sacks. He is a scientist that used to work with April’s father, before killing him. He works for the foot clan, developing some kind of toxin that would kill most of the people on the city. His role is pretty lame to be honest, he developed the toxin (and a cure) and that is all.

Then we have Karai, a high-rank member of the foot clan. We barely see her on the movie, and when we see her, she is even more useless that Sacks to the plot in my opinion. In fact, I think the movie would be the same without her. She barely says something, she barely does something and I couldn’t care less about her. At some point in the movie, I totally forgot that she was there, no kidding.

And finally, we have shredder. You can see him talking at some points of the movie, mad with Karai and his men, but then you can see him wearing his armor, and oh my god… why? I mean, the fact that he could shoot his knifes and pull them back with some magnet back was pretty badass, but he had spikes on the spikes of his blades. He wasn’t Shredder, that was a hedgehog.

Still he was pretty great. He was fast and skilled (and Asian thank god), and kicked the ass of the turtles so easily, and the action scenes with him were the most entertaining part of the movie (besides the eternal mountain), but still I would like to see more of him during the movie.

Anyways, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, and it only lasted 100 minutes, which is less that most of the movies this day. It was fun, and I really enjoy it, but I would not see it again.

Rating: 3 out of 5

-Lawrence

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