Movie Monday! Starring “The Expendables 3″

Muscles, steroids, guns, age and a lot of testosterone… are the ingredients that don’t need the chemical X… but still make a big and loud movie. But, is it worth watching?

First of all, I’ve watched every movie from this franchise, if you passed the first movie it was obvious that you were heading to watch the second one. But why? I mean, the movies are not brilliant, the visual effects are not the best and the acting… oh my gosh!, the acting is terrible, half of the actors have had better times, and now they are just a shadow.

But this saga has made the impossible; it kept us in our seats. The main reason is because there are many famous and cult actors together making every scene memorable, not for the action involved but for the epicness of the moment. Do you recall when Stallone, Schwarzenegger (yes, I googled for his last name) and Bruce Willis were in the same screen? It was awesome.

For the Expendables 3, Stallone did the same receipt that had used in the past two movies; he got together the biggest and oldest legends and putted them in extremely impossible situations, making them look good, powerful and badass. Will you judge the movie for the story? Please, don’t. I will save you some time; The story is terrible.

The story is about Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone ), Lee Christmas (Jason Statham), Gunnar Jensen (Dolph Lundgren), Toll Road (Randy Couture) and Caeser (Terry Crews) as the remaining members of the Expendables’s crew. As they were after a really important mission they rescued the Doc (Wesley Snipes) from a train that was transferring him to a prison to assemble a team. Pretty normal stuff. The fact is that they made an impressive and exaggerated things to rescue the Doc, this things involve using a helicopter really close to a train in movement, a lot of shots and some knives to kill at least 50 high-trained (apparently not) guards.

After they set free the Doctor, he decided to take control of the train, ignore his rescuers and smash the train against the prison that was his destiny. Of course, the expendables rescued him before he could kill himself. Any way, the prision exploted in an epic way. When they were safe, Christmas questioned the Doc about why he was in prison; tax evasion. Nice touch.

Now that they were a team, they fled to a country in Africa where they were after a trader, a gun-trader. Which realized to be Stonebanks (Mel Gibson) an ex-Expendable who was presumed dead. After the mission was discovered for a terrible mistake of Barney Ross, Stonebanks shots Caesar leaving him almost dead.

Yes, This is Arms Gibson…I mean, Mel Gibson.

Yes, This is Arms Gibson…I mean, Mel Gibson.

After the failure, Barney Ross realized that he didn’t want to lose another friend so he dismissed his old team, and hired a new one with simple characteristics; Young and talented. Max Drummer (Harrison Ford) a retired Major in the US force, and now the responsible of the Black-Ops after Stonebanks gave him a chance to make this second mission, which failed again. Stonebanks took his new team as hostages, inviting Barney to a suicidal mission to rescue them.

As he has always worked with moral and a sign of debt and honor he decides to go and rescue his new team alone. Well, with some help of Galgo (Antonio Banderas).

The new team: which turns out to be… really enjoyable to watch, unfortunately it is NOT their movie.

The new team: which turns out to be… really enjoyable to watch, unfortunately it is NOT their movie.

This is the main plot of the Expendables 3. A movie that is meh, charged with action, but with slow and boring moments too. The up-and-downs make it a forgettable movie, but an entertaining one at the moment.

If you want to watch this movie is for 2 reasons;

  1. To watch in the same screen, not heroes, but THE HEROES. The guys that have made memorable your memories of action movies. The guys that mean bussiness. THE GUYS.
  2. Because if you purchase a ticket, and it makes the movie get an acceptable Box Office they will continue making these movies, reuniting old legends, kicking some bad guys and making the action that made them become who they are. I mean, we still want to see Clint Eastwood side to side with Stallone, and what about Jackie Chan? And why not? Do you imagine the Rock making a team with these guys… or even better… as a villain?


Final verdict.

If after this review you still wanna know if Stallone can save his new team, if Antonio Banderas is good at fights or what happened to the old team, you should watch the movie, and expect an epic final battle. If you don’t wanna know what happens after, it’s okay, this won’t be a film to remember.

The epic scenes are good, the VFX are not good, and the plot is exaggerated, but! if you enjoy fights, humor and explosions… we have a winner here.

Rating: 3 out of 5


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